John the Con

John the Con

John the Con

Laurence Warner

March 28, 2023

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Liner Notes

I lent a conman 100 quid. This 100-second track is about what happened.

Aiming for 100K streams to get my money back.

Mixed by Stan van Dijk


My name’s Mr. John McDonagh

I'll tell you I'm an Honest John

I'll tell you I'll pay you later on

But it’s a trick!

I'm John the Con

I’m John the Con, yeah John the Con

I’ll con your dad and I’ll con your mum

Wanna hustle like me? Follow along

Here’s a day in the life of John the Con

I wake up

Tell the wifey put on her make-up

Tell my daughters get in the car

We’re going to the Shopping Centre (yay)

Right after the Services (awwhh)

Daddy’s gotta hustle some normie squibs

This Skoda-driver looks gormless

Hey mate, I’m from Belgium

“What’s up my European brethren?”

Tryna get my family across the Irish Sea

It’s liquidity I need, there’s a cash-machine

Could you spot me a C? Mr. Warner please

You’ll have it by minuit

Honestly, trust me

Trust me, I'm a Christian

(Cross my heart and hope to die)

Trust me, I'm a Christian

(Upon this cross, I swear on my life)

Trust me, I'm a Christian

Trust me, I’m a

I’m a trick!

I’m John the Con, yeah John the Con

I’m a hustler, yeah the con is on

I’ll even say that I’m from Belgium

If it means that you’ll part with your mons

I’m a Bad Boy, come see my Crew

Chilling in the back of my BMW

Don’t them females look vulnerable?

Make you lend money, yeah that’s my fuel

“Can we get a selfie?” OK cool

See I’m the don

I’m John McDonnagh

But don’t Google me cos I’m a con

Wait he just documented my face

And my untaxed plates (VO11 YKY)

Whatever, I’m driving off his hundred quid

To the next Services and the next eejit

Oh no wait what’s this?

Oh I gave him my real digits (07833876229)

He says I “won’t cop a crime”

So instead he’s “gonna rhyme about" me

So share this til he gets 100K streams

Then he’ll get his money back, guaranteed

Trust me